Staying sober over the holidays is often challenging for a person in early recovery. Although the winter holidays are a time of joy when families come together, they also are a time of stress for many people. The winter holidays might be overwhelming if you are recovering from a substance use disorder (SUD). Since complex interactions with family members often trigger traumatic feelings, many people in early recovery experience a desire to drink or use over the holidays.

What is essential to understand is experiencing a trigger is not the same as taking a drink. Moreover, a desire to use is not the same as taking a drug. When facing such challenges, a person trying to remain sober over the holidays has tools that they can use. With a deep desire to help people maintain their recovery, Tarzana Treatment Centers (TTC) presents three tools that will help you stay sober over the holidays. As a provider of substance use disorder services, we understand the challenges and empathize with you.

First Tool for Staying Sober Over the Holidays

The first tool for staying sober over the holidays is…

THE TOOL OF EXTERNALIZATION – TALK TO A FRIEND IN RECOVERY

When family triggers or other pressures feel like they will lead to a relapse, there is a golden rule for people in recovery. You get out of your head by externalizing and talking to a friend in recovery. Over the holidays, the head of a person in early recovery equals a dangerous neighborhood. You do not want negative thoughts to spiral out of control.

By picking up the phone and calling a friend in recovery, you externalize what feels so big and unwieldy inside. Hence, externalization provides perspective and relief. Indeed, you often find what you need to stay sober over the holidays by talking about what’s going on.

Second Tool for Staying Sober Over the Holidays

The second tool for staying sober over the holidays is…

THE SHIELD OF HEALTHY BOUNDARIES – NOTHING TO PROVE

When many people in early recovery return home, they feel like they have something to prove to everyone. They also want to share their recovery details with their family and friends. In many cases, this form of oversharing leads to bad outcomes. Over the winter holidays, most people do not want to hear about recovery and sobriety. Beyond the basic fact, they wish to move on and focus on their “normal” lives. What you need to remember is that you have nothing to prove to anyone over the holidays. You do not have to make amends and clean up past wreckage. Being in early recovery, focus simply on yourself.

Indeed, staying sober over the holidays is good enough and meaningful. You can protect yourself and your recovery by using the shield of healthy boundaries. Rather than expecting a particular response from your family, let go of all expectations. Focus on being a good family member and taking care of yourself. Thus, healthy boundaries will help you stay sober.

Third Tool for Staying Sober Over the Holidays

The third tool for staying sober over the holidays is…

THE PARACHUTE OF AVOIDING TEMPTATION – NO FOOLISH RISKS

If you are at a party and the alcohol flows freely, you do not have to stay at the party. You can leave, take a walk or go to the kid’s room and watch a Christmas movie. If you feel like temptations are everywhere, then take action and leave. If you tell a loved one you feel tempted, they will most likely be supportive. Even if they are not supportive, you are still okay. Indeed, you still have other options.

Walk away from the party and call a friend in recovery. Find a meeting on Zoom on your phone. Treat yourself to a lovely desert and connect with a new person. Most importantly, always remember that you have options. As Dr. Peter Grinspoon writes in the Harvard Health Blog, “In order to recover, we learn tools to keep ourselves centered, such as humility, compassion, listening skills, and mindfulness. We learn to ask for help, and not try to internalize and fix all of our problems on our own. The holidays present a perfect opportunity to reach into your recovery toolbox and use any and all of these tools.”